So I have to forgive myself again. For wasting a year. Quit beating myself up about it and move on. Quit waiting to live and wake up. Quit waiting for a degree to be successful and get confident. I have to go through the whole unraveling again. I began yesterday, the familiar breakthrough of looking at myself in the mirror and smiling at the strangely beautiful, worthwhile face that smiled back at me. I’m loved. Just chewing on that one, once again, for a while.
I’m reading this book by Liz Lamoreaux. It’s called “Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry and Mixed Media”. It’s nice. It’s just a book about giving yourself the license to be creative instead of silencing yourself out of fear. Through self portraiture, words, and art. Makes me want to be that bright-eyed girl wearing paint-spattered tank top and jeans and colorful, jangly jewelry that I know I am.
So I photographed my day today. Morning coffee. Petting the cat. Self-portraits in the mirror. Shopping. “Clean Me” written in the dust on the dashboard of my car. It felt wonderfully good.
I actually had a fabulous time finding and editing photos from my day. And I, in turn, had a lovely day. Photographing the everyday sacred things of my life, including myself, may very well be a new hobby for me. I actually feel loved and pretty and myself in front of the camera. Thank you, Liz Lamoreux. 
